“So, where do we meet?” I’ve never had a Twitter party before so I guess the question was necessary.
“Online.” Of course. And so online I went for a two-hour #FaceUp discussion mediated by Candy Magazine with Candy Cuties Enzo Cruz and Mica Caldito, Candy correspondents, bloggers Bea Benedicto and myself and Candy girls as attendees.
With Candy directing questions, we tackled a whole breadth of topics such as dreams, college, challenges, confidence. Candy girls also got to ask us their own questions – which I loved. I’ve never tweeted that much in my life. So you don’t have to go through what may be hundreds of them, here’s a quick recap of my answers and -further down – insights.
When I was in college, my problems were honestly test to test: surprise quizzes, long tests, hell weeks and seeing your eye candy in a bad outfit the most aggressive stressors. (What I deemed most important I’ll let you guess.) My goals were also pretty ordinary – graduate, balance academics with extra-curriculars, be active in orgs and earn on the side. It quickly changed into finding a decent job post-graduation. Now, post-career shift and armed with an unwavering trust in the Universe, my dreams know no bounds – write a book, put up my own company (tried, failed but will keep trying), contribute articles, live in a different city and become a business mogul.
I bumped into many challenges of course – from small ones like annoying professors to bigger ones like life forks. They often involved taking huge leaps of faith though – like quitting my job for fashion school, career changes, approaching strangers to intern or write without experience, etc. The thing is, while it’s always wise to have a fall back, most of the time you just have to jump in. The biggest setback for me was my own paranoid brain. Combined with my then-pessimism, I just didn’t believe in myself enough to make it.
Based on the answers of fellow Tweet-ers and Candy girls it became apparent: self-doubt is hindering all of us from achieving our dreams. We’re crippled not just by not the fear of failure but a lack of trust and confidence in our own selves. We are our own biggest critics.
When we doubt ourselves though, it shows. Fake it ’til you make it is a widespread philosophy for a reason. Lack of confidence seeps into everything we do.
Now, there are certain demons we might need to battle within us and that’s not always easy and an entire different journey altogether. The quick-fix though is by way of our appearance. A lot of times we need to talk to strangers, ask favors and sell ourselves – to employers, to professors, to would-be-significant others. To fake confidence (because I don’t always have it: I’m human and a hormonal woman), I do certain things like wear red lipstick or wear heels albeit painful. But I have learned that I’m most confident – even in ugly Birks – when I have good, clear skin (pimples always make me self-conscious).
I tried to go the magazine route buying a bunch of beauty products I ended up not using because spending 30 minutes a day to spread creams on my face is a commitment I can’t handle. What I religiously do though is wash my face every night using a good cleanser – the germ-killing kind.
A couple Candy girls asked what I used specifically. I think I tried all sorts of facial wash brands before – with beads, without beads, foamy, soy-based. But now I stick to soap and have been using Safeguard. I’ve used it ever since I was a kid mostly for my body but now that there’s a beauty component to it, it stays on my face too. I did mention that I had yet to try their new product Dermasense to actually test it out and because I promised some Candy girls, I bought myself a bar.
I had an amazing time tweeting all of you about these experiences and oversharing. I always say that if people are inspired by my style or the writing as a blogger then that’s great. But what I love most is when people are inspired by the journey – of pursuing dreams and fulfilling passions even if they require radical life changes.
I hope the tweet-up enlightened you (as it did me) as to what is really keeping us from our dreams and I hope you realize that fulfilling them is worth so much more than anything your inner Regina George can throw at yourself.
#FaceUp, little dreamers. Achieve great things.
And tweet me while you’re at it.
*For those interested, the soap is actually good! Your face feels tight right after. And because it’s Safeguard, you feel especially clean. I don’t mind using this regularly to say goodbye to the little pests trying to trespass on my face.